Chain of Human Behavior Part I

CHAIN OF BEHAVIOR

What’s the source of human behavior? Not only is this a good question, it’s a loaded one? And anyone claiming to emphatically know the answer is like someone claiming they’ve solved racism, or surfed to the ends of the Internet. That just isn’t true. And in my personal opinion, only God knows the true origins of any one person’s behavior. And because our knowledge and understanding of the matter cannot go beyond genetics, biology, environment, and choice, we can’t fully know what happens between the time the sperm meets the egg and the birth of an infant. We can’t fully understand how four children can have the same parents, the same upbringing, the same love and guidance, and three of them are law abiding citizens and one the outlaw from hell. And even if we determined that the lowest level we can discern human behavior is at the genetic level, we still can’t factually say with any level of specificity why genetics produce such behaviors. We can only deliberate at best. Therefore, in this blog, I take what we do know, according to biological science and biblical teachings, and expound on it in such a way that show why and how human behavior negatively impacts relationships. And I also demonstrate how regardless of root genetics or one's upbringing, behaviors can change, even though changing them can feel like cutting against the grain of some of the hardest woods.

The lowest level traits and attributes that lead to our human behavior are what I call root inputs. Things such as one’s physical and soul genetics, cultural practices, socializations, and experiences are certainly root inputs that contributes to our behavioral outputs. And although learning the source of our behavior can be super important, what’s more important is learning and understanding these sources with the intent of changing behaviors that we’re convinced need to be changed for the benefit of our relationship. And this even applies to non-intimate relationships.

In an earlier blog, I wrote about a nine-month-old who not only could walk but could successfully climb to the top of a significantly sized toy ladder without any help from her parents. She had no fear of heights, and if her parents tried to assist her, she’d throw tantrums in protest. This nine-month-old wasn’t taught this through cultural socializations. This trait was a visceral part of her physical and soul genetics. In other words, not only did she own the physical abilities to do so, the person or soul inside her physical body was naturally inclined to do so without any outside physical or soul stimulus or influence. The inclination to climb this ladder was primarily a part of her soul genetics, even though her physical genetics played its role. Her uninfluenced desire to climb this ladder is an organic and typical root input into the human nature dynamics that contributes to what I call the Chain of Human Behavior.

The Human Chain of Behavior consists of eight traits or attributes. These traits or attributes consists of root influences, needs and wants, desires, faith, energy, thoughts and imagination, actions, and behaviors. The Chain of Behavior theory is a Human Nature Dynamics topic that reveals the natural progression of Human Behavior. Let’s start with the first in the chain…root influences.

Root influences are any innate trait that creates a need or want in us. And they’re based on either physical or soul genetics. Physical genetics relate to some anatomical process that becomes a catalyst, root instigator, and origin trait that starts the behavioral process. Examples of this are our body’s hormonal, chemical, and electrical processes. Then, there’s our soul genetics. This one is the most difficult to nail down and is the most controversial of the two. Soul genetics have to do with the intangible and animating life essence of human beings. Some refer to it as the spirit of a person. I refer to it as the you…within you. Examples of it are one’s non-physical passions or desires, will, loves, and emotions. And these become the catalyst, root instigator, and origin trait at the root of the behavioral process. And it's my belief that the other root inputs into human behavior that I mentioned above never override these organic root inputs. I believe they only influence them. Therefore, I believe that root inputs such as upbringing, culture, and the like only positively or negatively influence what's already there at birth.

Using our nine-month-old again as an example, her culture may influence her profoundly. But I believe it will only either enhance her God-given traits or cause her to use them in a negative way. For instance, if her upbringing is full of dysfunction, this dysfunction won't change her traits of independence, courage, or self-initiative. But what it could do is cause her to be excessively independent, ruthless, which requires courage, and excessively driven to a point of hurting others, to include her loving man and boo. This is how this dysfunction could negatively influence her. Then, on the other hand, it could positively affect her. Because of her background with this dysfunction, it could drive her to help others who're at risk of being hurt like she was. She might use her courage to challenge laws that allow family dysfunction to happen even when others are saying it's impossible to do and win. This is how she might positively leverage the negatives of her upbringing. But a bigger question is...what would make her choose either path? If I knew the answer to this question, and could factually prove it, I'd win the Nobel Peace Prize. The closest answer I could give to this is individual choice, which is often based on desire. We'll get into desire shortly.

Using this nine-month-old again, we acknowledged that her likely root inner traits are independence, intradependence, self-initiative, and courage. And these traits will play a big part in how she takes on life as she grows and matures. She most likely won’t be the one backing down from an interesting challenge or taking kind to those wanting to control her destiny. And while these are often thought of as wonderful traits for an individual to have, these traits can help ruin a relationship. How? When the owner of such traits chooses a mate and partner who’s own innate traits irreparably opposes or conflicts with them. And one of the hardest things to understand is how we can fall in love with someone who’s wrong for us. But truth is…our nine-month-old baby girl may one day find herself in love with a man that she later learns isn’t right for her. Why? Because all of her inner traits rubs him the wrong way and perhaps, vice-versa. But, if she really values their relationship, she’ll struggle to find suitable ground they can both stand on. And depending on what the real clash is between them, she may either have to step up her game or dumb-down her personality to accommodate him. And or, he’ll have to do likewise. But remember...the one thing we never compromise in relationships are our dealbreakers. Because they're at the center of who we are and therefore are our direct sources of renewable energy. They power our individual drive and will. They make life worth living. And our dealbreakers are usually built around our organic root inputs. What’s the moral of this story? The moral is...we should strive to achieve just as much of an inner complementary attraction with a potential partner as we do a physical one. And we can't do that until we understand what our own root inputs to our behavior are and what theirs are. Yet still, once we've understood what both are, we must first be aware of how our upbringing, culture and environment affected our organic person, positively and negatively. And we must seek to know and understand how his or her upbringing has positively or negatively affect their organic person. Only then can we begin to make the best choice when choosing the right person for us. And yes, there needs to be lots of investigative work done when choosing a life-long partner.

The second attribute of the human chain of behavior are desires. Root influences produce desires. In the case of our nine-month-old, she’ll most likely desire high achievement and success. And whatever she sets her mind to do, she’ll need to do it very well. In previous blogs, I’ve written on our desires, which are the same as our hopes. But what are desires or hopes? Desires or hopes are unfulfilled needs and or wants. And unfulfilled needs or wants are either rooted in one’s physical being or in one’s soul being. The definition for wants and needs can get tricky real fast. But we typically think of needs as things necessary for successfully maintaining our personal wellbeing, which consists of our livelihood, and our physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and soul states. And we typically think of wants as things that add to our comfort, but aren’t necessary for maintaining our livelihood and personal wellbeing. But the truth is, needs and wants can be subjective. Because what may be a necessity for one could be a luxury for another and vice-versa.

However, regardless of what a person considers to be a need or want, desires form from them. And the synonym for desire is hope. And desires and hope only exist when we need or want something we don’t have. In a previous blog, I stated that people don’t desire what they already have. And that the bigger question is…do they desire to keep what they already have? Because if they do, they must continue to follow the next link in the human chain of behavior to do so. They must have faith.

Faith is the third step in the chain. Its synonyms are belief and trust. We don’t have faith for something we don’t want or for something we have. We have faith for what we want or need but don’t have. In other words, we need faith when we have unfulfilled hopes or desires. In the Christian bible, Hebrews 11 says, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen." In other words, the substance one gets when he or she hopes is faith. Romans chapter 8 verse 24 supports this argument. It says, "For we are saved by hope; but hope that is seen is not hope, for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for it?" This scripture is saying we don't hope for or desire what already have. We hope for or desire things we need or want but don't have.

Pretend for a moment that you walked up to the richest guy in the world, who's also a Mercedes car enthusiast. But you didn't know him or anything about him. And he owns a fleet of every kind of Mercedes, fresh off the assembly line. Most have never been driven. And the ones that have been has only ever had his butt impression in their seats. And when he raves on about how beautiful yours is, you tell him that if he has faith, he can have a brand new one, too. And he says, “Who needs faith? I already have every kind I could ever want, including the one you have, and in multiple colors, to include the color yours is.”

See, faith is only necessary for things we need or want but don’t have. In other words, faith is only needed for things we hope for or desire but don’t have. This proves that while Christian’s may have the lion’s share of faith when it comes to God, it isn’t just a Christian staple and attribute. There’s no one in the world, regardless of their religious preference, who does not practice it. For it’s impossible to achieve anything in life without it. But just because we have it doesn’t automatically mean we’ll achieve whatever we set our hearts to. But, without it, we lack the energy needed to try even though sometimes we fail in the process. Then we need it to get back up, dust ourselves off, and try again. Because in each failure, we’re learning what went wrong and what we need to do differently to win at our endeavor. And with every failure, our faith should grow to a place of realization and confirmation. Because with every failure, we should be able to realize and confirm that what we’re pursuing is right for us but not our time. Or we should realize and confirm that it may not be for us and move on to the thing that is. Because sometimes faith and failure is a pruning process. And it is meant to steer your energy in the right direction instead of steal and drain you of your energy. But, as long as we desire to have what we need but don’t have, our faith will supply us with endless energy to press on until we reach success in that endeavor or change course and set sail towards the right and or better objectives.

In our next blog, we’ll continue to cover the remaining Chain of Human Behavior attributes. As always, if you’ve enjoyed this blog series, please share it with others. And if you haven’t, please consider subscribing to receive the latest updates about future books, podcasts, and materials. I won’t sell your information. I value your patronage too much to do that. And always remember, committed relationships often cost more than their price tag!

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